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Day Twentytwo back in Sweden

Publicerad 2015-07-20 21:51:57 i Allmänt,

Beloved international friends, family and relatives, teachers; here comes my final post, all dedicated to you fantastic people from Smithers- the finest town in B.C. Canada! Smithers may not be the largest town nor the Canadian equivalent to Stockholm. Perfect! It was not what I needed anyways. The thing is, it's you that have made Smithers so special to me during these ten months and for the rest of my life. Everyone I have had the chance to meet and get to know the last ten months has planted a footprint in my life and my memories, you have played a part in my life's great adventure!
It might sound cheesy to you, but you won't fully understand this gratitude and love I feel before you have gone through the same journey I did. I am sooo deeply grateful for have had the pleasure to travel to a (for me pretty unfamiliar country) and being so warmly welcomed by you. Thank you for everything you have taught and given me - consciously or unconsciously - I feel enriched in so many ways!
Out of all ten months, the last one was personally the most memorable one for me. It's June that made me realize that every day counts, June happened so fast, too fast, yet I have had so much fun! Prom; so much love, so much dance and such happiness! Graduation; I could not have been more proud, I almost exploded of proudness like a mother seeing my fellow grade 12ers graduate, and afterwards having fun like a little child at DAF Grad! All the campouts with my best friends (I love you to pieces), all the days and nights with my family (I cannot thank you nor express all my love for you enough!), endless memories that will last longtime!
Those brave souls that dared come to say goodbye to me that last day, I'm not going to lie, I was a wreck! You know it, I cried from the moment I set my foot in the airport from the moment I boarded the plane. It felt like I was dying; my life I had been building up was being taken away from me and I just could not accept it nor control it. Everything from those last moments together with my loved ones I will have with me - playing on repeat: Sa-Yez leading us to the parking lot, picking up that guitar (which broke my heart right in half), when he sang to us, all the hugs I got, all the kind words, and finally something I probably will never forget; right before I went through security Tim called my name from where they all stood gathered to wave me farewell. He smiled and said "You look beautiful Momma Bear" - my heart litterally skipped a beat and I took a last look at everyone standing there, appreciateing the short moment and thinking how much I love them.
Nobody else (except perhaps fellow exchange students) know the feeling of what it is like to have lived two lives. Sometimes I wish I had not experienced that double-life, because now I have to live with the constant feeling of missing someone you so badly want to have close yet can't. I know it is really rude to complain, I guess it just takes a few months to readjust back to my former life, to accept that I will never relive that perfect year. Although I am coming back one day, I know I will, I must!
For those of you who wonder what I have been up to since I arrived back in Sweden 22 days ago, here comes some photos:
Yes, I finally cut my long hair. Sorry if if I upset people but it had to go!
I've been on the island called Öland (= Island land) for the yearly camping with family friends. This really got me better settled back in my former life again.
This summer, untill school starts, I will work here at the horse racing track with a variety of gardening stuff.
And here I am writing this to you all amazing people on the other side of that big Atlantic Ocean. Behind me is the sign my family and friends waved frenetically with when I landed at Arlanda Airport in Stockholm. It says "Welcome home Johanna!"
I truly wish to see you again one wonderful day, but for now: this is the last post on this blog. After having summed up this year, it's time for Hanna to log out. Lots of LOVE!
/ Hanna Loves Her Canada /

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